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From: Margot Winterbottom
To: Supple Staff
RE: New Advertising
Dear Gang:
I am pleased to announce that after months of networking and
several grueling cocktail hours with execs, I have managed to
get a hot new advertiser for Supple: Impact Protein Bars!
I’m sure you’ve heard of them. Their ads are on television
constantly; you see every third person on the street munching
them on their way to wherever they’re rushing off to in
such a hurry that they can’t stop to eat a meal... Anyway,
as of the next issue of Supple, we will be running full-page
ads and carrying Impact Bars in our vending machines.
So eat up.
Which brings me to the next point. Our vending machines are
not bulletin boards. I don’t want to see any more flyers
stuck to them announcing cars for sale or Salsa classes or those
crunchy granola yoga retreats... I’ll remind you that we
do have a company website where you can post your notices. Also,
I’m assuming the tape you use to stick those announcements
to the vending machines is taken from this office. That’s
theft.
Over and out,
MW
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From: Margot Winterbottom
To: Supple Staff
RE: New Opening & Reviews
As you are all aware by now, I have had to let go of our previous
Style Editor, Ruby Patel. I know how well-liked she was, however
I would like to request that the shrine in the lobby that was
placed in her honor be dismantled; the incense is giving me a
headache. As a result of Ruby’s departure, a new Style
Editor position has opened here at Supple. I will be selecting
the new Style Editor based on your performance in the office,
which will be discussed with you at the end of each day in your
review with me. I don’t need to remind you that your scheduled
reviews are very important to your future here at Supple. Let
me stress: You will be judged on your merit alone. In other words,
bribery will not help your case. I am a woman who has everything
she needs. I repeat, I cannot be bought. Not even by
nice clothing, expensive luggage, or fine art. So, best of luck
to you all and remember above all else that I am a size 4, I
prefer Louis Vuitton, and KiKi Rodriquez is my favorite artist.
Your boss,
MW
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